


Honey

by thecattydddy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bottom!Reader, M/M, Reader-Insert, Smut, Voice Kink, top!Dirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 17:23:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17666858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecattydddy/pseuds/thecattydddy
Summary: I'm not even gonna pretend to give this a flowery summary to try and hide what this is; It's Dirk getting you off while he whispersThe Bee Moviescript in your ear. This is a curse I am putting on anyone foolish enough to look in the Dirk Strider tag.





	Honey

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of this concept as a joke and then proceeded to write it, also as a joke. I hope you hate reading it as much as I hated writing it.
> 
> No name used, so no need to replace Y/Ns.  
> The Reader is male and also a bottom.

Dirk’s voice is soft in your ear, warm breath tickling the sensitive skin there. You squeak, leaning away from him out of instinct, but his hand catches your waist and holds you still. The other settles on your arm. The sheets beneath your legs are soft. Your body is facing towards the headboard with Dirk having moved up behind you so there is less than half of the bed between you and him, with no chance to put more distance there.

“Ticklish?” he asks with a hint of amusement tinting his words. The hand on your waist moves a little higher to hover fingers over your stomach, hiking up your shirt just enough to see the smallest glimpse of what lies underneath. He is firm against your back; slender, but made up of all muscle. You can feel the strength within him even as he uses only a fraction of it to hold you still against his body.

“ _ No _ !” you shoot back. The waver in your voice gives you away, though, and his cheshire grin only deepens. Fingers ghost over your side, intentionally moving in a playful, but aimless manner. You squirm with little resulting freedom, your body instinctively curling away from the gentle touch. He only stops when you finally can’t take it any more and crack, your voice heavier than you were trying to make it. “Dirk, don’t-”

“Shhh,” he hushes you and you obey. The hand on your shoulder moves to settle over your neck, making you tilt your head upward. His lips are still ghosting over your ear and you can hear him breathe in through his nose before he speaks. “You are really liking this, aren’t you?” You open your mouth to object, but he beats you to it. “Be good and tell the truth.”

A beat passes when you don’t say anything, your eyes turning pointedly away. Finally, you nod, earning yourself an approving hum that goes straight through your body and settles in your pelvis. Another chuckle left him. “I wonder if I could say  _ anything _ to you like this and have you shivering like that. What do you think?”

He pressed a kiss behind your ear and you give a soft noise in reply, your eyes narrowing suspiciously at the young man over your shoulder. Wherever he was going with this, you didn’t trust it. “No, I  _ don’t  _ think that I would do that.”

“ _ I do, _ ” he returned, lower and huskier. A finger is run up your spine and you curl so that your head in resting on his shoulder, the hum coming from you almost breaking into a clipped whine. One of his hands pulls the button of your jeans loose, the zipper following after it. His fingers slip beneath the band of your boxers, still a little shy of touching anything. You wiggle to try and get him to stop teasing, but he catches your hips at the last moment and pulls you back flush against his body, again. 

“ _ Dirk- _ ” He grinds up against you and you can feel something stiff rubbing between your ass, the slight pull of your jeans as he moves against you garbling whatever you were going to say into a frustrated groan. You can practically feel the smugness radiating off him. 

“I bet...” he murmurs into your ear, “I could get you to come while reciting  _ The Bee Movie _ script.” The suggestion is jarring enough to pull you out of your previously placated headspace, your body twisting to let him see the offronted look at such a thing. You knew Dirk could be  _ weird _ sometimes - plenty of unconventional toys and kinks introduced to you that you weren’t sure how you felt admitting you might have actually  _ enjoyed _ \- but you had to draw the line  _ somewhere _ . 

“I swear to  _ God _ , If you start quoting that I’m-” Finally, his fingers slip the rest of the way beneath your waistband, taking you into his hand and giving a few rough jerks to get you to cut your objection short. “I’mma-” You try to power through the threat, but Dirk knows you well enough to know how you like to be touch. Eventually it dies on your tongue to the sound of you moaning. Your eyes flutter half-closed when he goes back to rubbing up against you, murmurs coming from you; Both mixed with the lingering thoughts of your objections and the desire for him to keep touching you.

Once he’s sure you’re blissed out, he settles back in your ear. His voice is heavy, the deep texan accent thicker on his tongue than it usually is and you just  _ know _ he’s doing that on purpose. The sound itself is another to make your skin grown hotter, but it takes you a minute to recognize the words with them. When you do, the repulsion is a weird mix to everything else.

“ _ According to all known laws of aviation... _ ”

“ _ Dirk _ ...” You meant to make yourself sound more irritated, but his name just comes out like a needy whine. He knows your body, intimate enough with what makes you feel good that you are too into it by the time he introduces something new to want it to stop. Sometimes it’s sweet, how he’ll walk you through something you would have otherwise been too scared or too embarrassed to try. Right now, you’re annoyed, because he’s clearly making a game out of you with this; But that is also surprisingly attractive, being reduced down to a incoherent mess even as he makes light of such an intimate moment. 

You catch yourself moaning as he picks up speed, your eyes fluttering. His words are heavily with the deep southern drawl, drawn out and sensual as if he was saying something far dirtier than the actual words coming out of his mouth. Your back arching you towards him, fingers finding fistfolds of the sheets. His hands are warm, his thumb catching the precum beading at the head and smearing it over your member. 

Soft mews hit the air as he wraps his fingers around the base of your cock, grasping firmly. You were completely stiff at this point, blood pooling downward. Your entire body felt fuzzy, interrupted only by the brief shot of sensation in every nerve that Dirk’s touch activated. His movements slowed, drawing out painfully as he pulled his legs out from beneath you and started angling you down, the hip on your waist providing a slight guide in your movements. Your forearms found the soft surface of the bed, forehead coming to meet it shortly after.

“You wanna come, Baby?” he murmured, the script he’d been somehow reciting in near perfection momentarily forgotten. You nod, hmming desperately in confirmation. His grin grew a little more wicked at that, pressing another kiss behind your ear in reward. “That’s a good boy. Go on, then; Come for me.”

And the recitation was back, softer and more intimate. He quickened his pace, again. By the time you came, you could barely register what he was even saying, the words blending together to a garbled mess and painted with the lovely hue of his voice. Euphoria washed over you, leaving you high and light. 

Even as you came down, the bed beneath you and the hand guiding you through the aftershocks both stained white, you were left with a softness in your chest, the feeling carrying up to settle a lazy, but satisfied touch to your features.

Dirk broke the momentary silence that followed, amusement swirled through his tone and a touch of bewildered laughter coming to his words. “I can’t believe that actually worked.”

“I hate you so much,” you mutter back, words muffled by you having buried your face into the bed. Dirk presses another kiss to your skin, this time on the back of your neck.

“Shh. Let’s get you cleaned up, huh, baby?”

You nod, unfolding and letting him pull you to your feet with the hand he offered in your direction. He holds you steady as you stand, kicked your pants off. He pulls your shirt over your head, tossing it in a random direction. 

“How about a shower? That sound real nice, about now?”

“Yeah....” You watch him lose his own shirt as well - Somehow without the shades going with them. For a moment he just holds you there and you can see his member starting to poke through his pants, remember that he still had yet to come. You couldn’t help thinking how nice it’d be to be able to help with that.

“We’ll get you all cleaned up; Lathered in bubbles.”

“Hmm?”

“And then I can fuck you under the warm spray. I’ll go real nice and slow until you’re begging for  _ anything _ .” You can already feel your skin growing warm, again, at the thought. Keeping the whine out of your response was a loser’s game, letting Dirk know  _ precisely _ how you felt about that.

“Mm... And then, once I’ve got you where I want you, I can say something  _ really dirty _ into your skin. Something that lets you know  _ exactly _ whose mercy you’re at...”

A murmur on your part. You found yourself hanging on his every word, each one moving through you like a small electrical shock. You knew he could make good on this promise and the anticipation for it left you more than ready to get started.

“...Something like quote highlights from  _ Paul Blart: Mall Cop _ .”

“Dirk, what the  _ fuck-! _ ”

“Ah- Here we go!” He caught you around the legs before you could do more than get your initial reaction out, the distance you put between the two of you just enough for him to sweep down and catch them. You were tossed unceremoniously over his shoulder, bent at the middle and staring down at the ground as he started walking. Your immediate response was to hit the closest surface in reach with your fist, that being his back. The wailing on him went seemingly unnoticed except for the quiet crackling that came from him. 

“I hate you so much!”

“It’s  _ your _ kink, babe. I’m just trying to deliver.”

“It is  _ not _ my kink! You take that back,  _ right now _ !”

“Isn’t it? Or is it _just_ _The Bee Movie_ that really gets you off?”

“ _ Stop talking! _ ”

“It’s an honest question!”

“ _ No, it’s not! _ ”

**Author's Note:**

> This was a joke post and you actually read it.
> 
> Nice.


End file.
